TriWizard Tournament Task Reject 178234
by Super Shayde
Summary: YAY! A Misty challenge again! Warning: Includes forty pounds of bagels, fatal air freshener and Moaning Myrtle. Approach with caution. [ONE-SHOT]


TriWizard Tournament Task Reject #178234

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter! He fell through a hole in my swiss cheese...

Summary: YAY! A Misty challenge again! Warning: Includes forty pounds of bagels, fatal air freshener and Moaning Myrtle. Approach with caution.

- Must include James, Sirius, Remus, Dobby's father, Dumbledore, and Lily

- Must include a 40-pound bag of bagels, including the blueberry and apricot flavors

- MUST include excessive cream cheese

- Sirius must think the bagels are infected with something of your choice

- Must include a bathroom of which the last user decided they disliked the smell and therefore sprayed three gallons of air freshener in the place, therefore making anyone who goes into the bathroom unable to breathe

- Dobby's father must think the air in the bathroom is fatal, and he is disturbingly desparate to prevent anyone from going in

- Moaning Myrtle must be moaning about the sweet, sickly smell, and constantly complaining that it distracts her from thinking about death

Dobbee, an young house-elf just recruited to Hogwarts, watched a first year girl walk into a bathroom nearby. Soon, she made a sound that sounded like choking - GASP! He rushed into the bathroom, and saw the young girl - she had swooned(not fainted, but swooned) to the floor at the smell of the bathroom - lying on the floor.

He squeaked in alarm. His own sensitive nose could smell the sickly sweet scent of...AIR FRESHENER(dun dun dun)! He ran out, squealing. Fatal air freshener! The headmaster must know! The headmaster must know! The headmaster -  
  
Dobbee screamed as he bumped into someone, and as he looked up, he was embarrassed. He had bumped into a student he recognized, a fifth-year student by the name of Remus Lupin. "So sorry's, sir! Must reach Professor Dumbledore - the -"

"I'm right here, Dobbee." Dobbee laid his lamp-like eyes on the headmaster. He was holding a giant sack, and two other boys, besides Mr. Lupin, and a girl stood beside him. The girl looked skeptical as she glanced at one of the boys, who had messy hair, as he joked with his friends.

"Headmaster, Headmaster!" Dobbee squeaked urgently, "The bathroom, the bathroom, the -"  
  
"Calm down, Dobbee!" Professor Dumbledore said calmly, "The students and I have business there; it is perfectly safe. Would you like to join us?" Dobbee's alarm was immediately gone.

"Of course, sir! It would be an honor! And who are these sirs and miss coming along with us?" he asked excitedly.

"Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, James Potter, and Lily Evans, Dobbee. They are to be a great help to me; we are performing an important experiment." Dumbledore told Dobbee. Lily Evans smiled at Dobbee, and asked,

"You're certainly happy to please, aren't you?"

"Yes, miss!" Dobbee said enthusiastically. So, they ventured into the bathroom.

Lily Evans gagged at the smell; James Potter's eyes widened and he held his nose; Sirius Black screamed, "IT'S THE GATES OF HELL! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!" and was inconsolable for five minutes, and even after muttered about muffins under his breath; and Remus Lupin seemed to be the most sensitive, dropping to the floor immediately and only revived after Dumbledore repeated, "Ennervate!" six times.

Dobbee held his nose tight, not wanting to disappoint the headmaster and miss this special occasion. Dumbledore was the only one unscathed, and he glanced at the girl on the floor only briefly, as if he saw this kind of thing everyday(though none of the people in the room doubted that he didn't), and then dumped the sack's contents onto the floor.

Everyone's eyes widened as he turned the sack upside-down. What was inside? Fifteen grindylows? The Sorcerer's Stone? Bananas? A dragon? A pebble? Lord Voldemo- ahem, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named? Well, of course it was Voldemort! What do you expect? No, it wasn't Voldemort, silly...It was...  
  
FORTY POUNDS OF BAGELS!

Sirius Black shrieked. "They're infested with nargles!"

"No they're not, you idiot! Nargles live in mistletoe!" James Potter argued.

"No, they live in bagels and purple polka-dotted mushrooms!" Sirius insisted. Lily Evans sighed loudly. Remus Lupin sighed _louder_. Lily glared at him and sighed _even louder_. Remus sighed, but not as loudly. Lily put her hands on her hips triumphantly.

Headmaster Dumbledore announced, "You four students have been brought here to test our newest idea for the TriWizard tournament that will take place about twenty years from now(very late to start testing, no matter how early it may sound). The task is to -" Dumbledore's eyes widened - "FIND THE AMAZING BAGEL OF DOOM IN THESE FORTY POUNDS OF BAGELS!"

James blinked. "Are we allowed to eat them?"

"No."

"Darn it."

"But they're infested with nargles!" Sirius Black protested.

"Of course not, Mr. Black! They're infested with rats and other vermin - I mean, they're perfectly safe! Perfectly safe!" Dumbledore said cheerily. Sirius pouted. James pouted.

"Why can't we eat them?" James demanded.

Dumbledore's eyes grey fiery. "BECAUSE I SAY SO!" James shrunk back into the wall. Sirius and Remus cowered.

Lily groaned, "Boys." Dumbledore coughed.

"Enough of that...now for the search..for the BAGEL OF DOOM!"

"What's it look like?" Sirius asked.

"Its purple," Dumbledore said affectionately, thinking of the bagel. Purple was his favorite color...insert dreamy sigh.

James grabbed an apricot bagel and smeared cream cheese all over it, then stuffed it in his mouth.

"Swrydmbedmrebwutiwyllstayerwifidwnyteatanytihng!" James yelled, with his mouth full. Sirius blinked.

"Muffin? Where's the muffin?" Sirius demanded to James, shaking his shoulders roughly.

"I didn't say anything about a muffin!" James said crossly, swallowing his bagel. He immediately grabbed another one(Dumbledore didn't seem to notice) and splattered cream cheese all over it again. He stuffed it in his mouth and choked slightly as he swallowed it. Lily was pawing through the bagels dully, as was Remus.

"Well, I shall leave you to your task," Dumbledore said brightly, "Dobbee, inform me when it is found."

"Right, sir!" Dobbee said obediently, watching the scene.

Suddenly, Moaning Myrtle whooshed out of a toilet crossly.

"This smell is bothering me!" she pouted, "I can't concentrate on thinking about all the reasons people hate me!"

"Whatever," James scoffed, and tossed a bagel at her head. Myrtle let out a low cry of anger, and sobbing, retreated to her toilet, moaning. Dobbee shuddered.

"I don't like that missus, sirs!" he whispered to James and Sirius.

"Aye! We doesn't either, aye! She's a right landlubber in the swashbuckling, wrangling dogs! Pieces of eight! Aye, me maties, we will catch the ol' bat someday and I'll never swing right 'round-" Sirius ranted, a glint in his eye, trying to speak like a pirate until James howled,

"Shut up, you idiot!" Dobbee shrank away from Sirius. _So many strange wizards!_ he thought anxiously, crouching in a corner.

Sirius began to drink from one of the toilets. Only recently had he learned to become an Animagus, and the book they had consulted had warned them that after successfully learning, some unfortunate side effects would occur temporarily. Sirius didn't particularly mind. It wasn't like he'd never drank from one before, anyway.

James watched this performance with disgust. Suddenly, Lily shot up from the giant pile, her face half-smeared with cream cheese, and she shrieked triumphantly,

"I FOUND THE PURPLE BAGEL!" She proceeded to gloat about this victory in James' face, and Sirius was permanently traumatized by the sight of losing, although he hadn't even tried. He closed the stall door and sobbed uncontrollably.

YEARS LATER, AZKABAN PRISON

One hit wizard who had brought Sirius Black to prison muttered to another who had not had the opportunity, "We just brought that crackpot traitor in...was muttering somethin' about a purple bagel...darned mad, he is.."

THE END


End file.
